Wednesday, July 25, 2007
wombat rights
what concerns me is that I have no real control over my life. shouldn't there be a wombat's bill of rights somewhere? something to protect the shrinking habitat of those wombats in the outback and legislation to keep domestic wombats, like me, from being uprooted from bed and placed into drawers, bags, and closets for unspecified periods? shouldn't there be some kind of law that allows us a certain number of pizzas and car trips per week? how can life be so unfair to such an important species? this is simply wrong. wrong I tell you. oh, all this goes for blankets too. at least small blankets that act civilly and are generally kind and unobtrusive.
what concerns me is that I have no real control over my life. shouldn't there be a wombat's bill of rights somewhere? something to protect the shrinking habitat of those wombats in the outback and legislation to keep domestic wombats, like me, from being uprooted from bed and placed into drawers, bags, and closets for unspecified periods? shouldn't there be some kind of law that allows us a certain number of pizzas and car trips per week? how can life be so unfair to such an important species? this is simply wrong. wrong I tell you. oh, all this goes for blankets too. at least small blankets that act civilly and are generally kind and unobtrusive.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
i am so smart
i wish that I had longer legs because then I could find a way to get some pizza. hey, you know what else would be good? you could take some dough and then put some sauce on it and then some cheese and then bake it until the dough got all chewy. oh wait! that sounds like pizza! it is pizza! i invented pizza! i am so smart.
i wish that I had longer legs because then I could find a way to get some pizza. hey, you know what else would be good? you could take some dough and then put some sauce on it and then some cheese and then bake it until the dough got all chewy. oh wait! that sounds like pizza! it is pizza! i invented pizza! i am so smart.
Monday, July 16, 2007
four stinky paws like feet
how come certain dogs have paws, but those paws still seem to qualify as stinky feet? nature is so complex. these days the bed is hot and too full of stinky paw-feet that seem to forget that I am not a pillow. why do my loud rants sometimes feel like really long silent screams? I'll tell you why—because the stupid dog with stupid feet still keeps his stinky butt on my head even though I am delivering him almost daily a lecture about being kind and considerate and nice.
how come certain dogs have paws, but those paws still seem to qualify as stinky feet? nature is so complex. these days the bed is hot and too full of stinky paw-feet that seem to forget that I am not a pillow. why do my loud rants sometimes feel like really long silent screams? I'll tell you why—because the stupid dog with stupid feet still keeps his stinky butt on my head even though I am delivering him almost daily a lecture about being kind and considerate and nice.
